Sometimes you have to take firm decisions. I think that if you guys have been reading some of my posts lately,, you might have had the feeling I have not been extremely happy about how my life has been going on. Well, today I think that the decisive turn has been taken. In the last few weeks I gave signs of distress, then finally today I spoke with both my bosses and, after they made me yet another (interesting) proposal, I have been firm in my decision to walk away. As a person always living projected in the future, it has been hard for me to take such a decision, as the job and the opportunities were good. Yet, as you can imagine, I didn't wake up with the wrong foot today and take this decision, I have been feeling unsatisfied for... months. And lately the situation has become unbearable for me: lack of motivation, a job I didn't particularly like, opportunities that were always in front of me but never came to meet me for real, added to the toughness of having no home for the last 10 months, travelling back and forth from here to there and back... I couldn't make it anymore. I couldn't take it anymore. And I am happy I took this decision, as it means I am learning to care more about the present. It might turn out to be a crappy decision in the long term, but I will never know; it's what I needed to do in order to feel better now and so I did. And the fact that I haven't been feeling happier than this afternoon for a long time tells me that I did do what was good for me. The dog days are over, the dog days are done. I can hear the horses come and I'm running!
"Leave all your love and your longing behind.
You can't carry it with you if you want to survive"